Heidi Montag

We're sorry to drop this down your chimney this morning, but they haven't canceled "The Hills" yet and, because so many poor people apparently can't get any other channels on their televisions, we have to keep writing about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt.

The nauseatingly photogenic pair have decided not to get married yet, which is terribly confusing considering they said they did, then they said they would, then they said they had. Some of us just can't sleep at night until we get an answer.

The reality TV couple jetted off to Mexico last month to tie the knot in secret and were due to make their marriage legal with a ceremony at the Beverly Hills courthouse in Los Angeles. But the pair opted out of the wedding at the last minute, in footage filmed for the hit TV series.

Pratt was seen telling his partner, "I just want to give you the wedding of your dreams that you have been talking about for three years. I'll deal with it. It's worth it to be with you the rest of my life. We'll do it the way you want, I'm sorry. I love you so much." The footage aired Monday night.

BRITNEY'S DAD GETS A RAISE: A court has put a higher value on being Britney Spears' father this year: about $75 an hour.

For helping his daughter through her turbulent period, Jamie Spears on Monday was awarded an additional $51,000 payout, reflecting an increase in his monthly payments since hetook over his 27-year-old daughter's affairs in February.

Wait a second, how do the rest of us get in on this "getting paid to take care of your kid" thing? Oh, that's right — they have to become famous and go nuts. (The kid, not the parent.)

Jamie Spears had been receiving $10,000 a month for his work, but Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Reva Goetz increased that amount to about $16,000 per month and agreed to give him back pay.

James Spears was also granted an additional $1,200 monthly payment so he can maintain an office, which Goetz said was justified by his work getting his daughter's personal life — and music career — back on track.

HOLLYWOOD LIMBS NOT DOING SO WELL: Ben Stiller is recovering after breaking his hand in a snowboarding accident. The actor was admitted Sunday to New York's Mount Sinai Hospital.

A source told the New York Daily News, "One of the hospital's top hand specialists was called in to treat him." Stiller was discharged later that day. A representative for the star says, "I can confirm that he broke his hand snowboarding."

Meanwhile, Shia LaBeouf has undergone a second operation on his hand five months after he was injured in a car crash in Los Angeles. The actor had surgery straight after the accident in July, but reportedly postponed a second operation to allow him to complete filming on action sequel "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Movie bosses were forced to rewrite some of the script to include LaBeouf's injury. A representative for the star has confirmed the operation was a success.

CRAIG STRUGGLES WITH RUSSIAN: James Bond star Daniel Craig had difficulties learning Russian for his new film and nearly gave up because he found it so difficult.

The British actor had to learn the language for his role in the upcoming World War II movie "Defiance," in which he plays one of four Polish brothers who help save Jews from the Nazis.

Craig admits that it was one of his hardest jobs to date, because he couldn't come to grips with Russian words. "It was a nightmare for me because I'm just the worst student in the world — I left school at 16. I had to do it phonetically, learn it and understand it."

BOSS READY TO RELEASE NEW RECORD: Bruce Springsteen says he was energized to make a new album quickly after recording a song he calls a "love-in-the-time-of-Bush meditation."

In notes posted on his Web site Tuesday, Springsteen explains the creation of his new disc, "Working on Dream" (due out Jan. 27). It follows his last album, "Magic," by only 15 months — an unusually quick turnaround for him. It started with the song "What Love Can Do." Springsteen says he usually doesn't write that quickly, but that the excitement from "Magic" left "more than enough fuel for the fire to keep going."